suebaby

Some people still have not learned to think before they speak.

Let me start with a thank you. A thank you to all of you who read what I write and have respected my wishes re: son and brain cyst. No one is calling me to discuss it, I've not had to console anyone, and I love you all for it.

That said, it is now a time to vent. I am very upset. With my supervisor. For the purpose of typing a shorter word, I shall now refer to her as Boss. Normally, I love Boss. Really, she's great. She's always been really good at handling personal situations in the workplace. That is why I'm upset.

I actually have two Bosses... one is my direct supervisor and then the other is the Big Boss... the supervisor's boss. This has to do with the big boss. In light of everything that has happened, I've been telling my supervisor about it. I told her at some point, if she wanted to clue in the Big Boss, that was fine, but I didn't really want to talk about it with anyone. So she did. Well, today, I was at work and the Big Boss came in my office and asked how I was doing. I said, "OK" with a big plastic smile on my face and tears in the very near future. (It has been a hard day.) Big Boss proceeds to ask, very chipper and loud, "So, what's the next step?" This question, obviously, is in regards to the Baby. I looked at her for a second, like, What are you talking about? And then, I just started to cry. Again. I'm just exhausted and I don't want to talk about all this, especially with Big Boss, at work, in a casual way.

I know that she really cares and didn't mean to upset me. I know also that she immediately felt bad and began backpedaling to compensate for it. Immediately, she said something like, "Oh, we don't need to talk about this." I nodded and said, "Good, because I really don't want to talk about it". She nodded empathetically and then gave me some crap advice about it being therapeutic to really get into your work at times like these. As If I Don't Know This!!!!!! That was why I was there in the first place. I sort of smiled at her and said, "Yeah, I know, that's why I'm here." Then she said that she had to get home and that she'd been thinking of me, my husband, and baby. Then she left. Thank God.

I could tell that she felt bad about the way that the whole thing happened. I know that this is the type of thing that she probably beat herself up for later on last night. The weird thing about all of this, is this woman has had some pretty difficult family issues that she's had to deal with in the past six months, so if anyone should know how it is to come to work with all that stuff weighing on your mind and in your heart, it's her.

This whole situation was not helped by the fact that minutes before I left to go into work, I had spent about an hour researching brain cysts on the internet... and trust me, there's some pretty bad stuff out there. Then I got to work and was yelled at by someone on the phone for twenty minutes over something that was not my fault. THEN, the big boss came in and said all that stuff.

Typing it all out and reading it makes it seem like it wasn't such a big deal. But it was the way she did it and then, I guess, just bad timing. It just seemed so insensitive to me. I mean, she and I have never even actually talked about this whole brain thing.

Oh, well, I'm off to work again now. We'll see if she feels like bringing it up again. Somehow, I get the feeling that this time, she won't.

posted by suebaby @ 8:42 PM