suebaby

Feeling guilty

OK, regarding grandma... I've been feeling bad since I wrote that she wasn't nice and I didn't care. The truth is, I hardly knew her. She was my father's mother and I hardly even know him. I've only seen my grandma a few times in my life and the last time was when I was nine. As an adult, I made a few attempts to reestablish or create some kind of relationship by sending cards, letters, and pictures, but the most I ever got in return was sometimes a Christmas card signed Love, Grandma. It hurt my feelings that she didn't make more of an effort. I really don't know what she thought of me (if anything really), because pretty much her entire view of me was probably based on whatever my father told her, and I have absolutely no idea whether or not he would talk positively or negatively about me. I guess that's why I said what I said, but it doesn't make it ok. There are people out there that loved her and are grieving and it was disrespectful of me to say that. In my own personal experience, my family is not very healthy and/ or good at communicating with each other for the most part. There are only a few people that I'm related to that I am 1. proud to say that I am, and 2. care to even know. One of them is Sandie and I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I hope that what I said did not upset you. If it did, I hope that you can accept my apology. (I would have probably just emailed this to you, but I lost your address again).

Anyway, there's a little family history and what not for everyone.

posted by suebaby @ 1:11 PM