I hate MTV.
I'm still shaking my head in disbelief. a few minutes ago, I turned on MTV... that was my first mistake, and then saw some sort of reality show about teen girls wanting to be in beauty pageants... ugh. THEN... one girl (who was not exactly stick thin skinny) was in a bikini and her mom was standing there with her and she was telling her daughter that her ass was too big and she shouldn't have these love handles and "just look at the cellulite back there". Oh My God. I guess it makes sense why this little girl wants to be in pageants when her mother is so focused on appearances. Now, my mom has said a few things in my life regarding my body that I'd rather she'd not said, but never made comments like that! Now, you may be thinking, Duh, of course not, you're a rail... that's true... but I mean in the way that she'd be telling me I'd have to change the way my body looks if I wanted to be considered beautiful. There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even think I know where to start, considering my limited computer time.Once again, I'm glad that I have a son and not a daughter, because the good old US of A is not a nice place for little girls to grow up in... if you want them to have a decent self esteem that isn't based on how nice their boobs or ass are. I CANNOT STAND THAT SHIT.
Sorry about all the cursing.
posted by suebaby @ 12:52 PM
20 Comments:
Heehee... I would argue that the USA is pretty much one of the BEST places in the world for women to grow up in, though.
The high levels of female infanticide, female genital mutilation, gang rape of females with no lawful recourse, etc etc etc that are prevalent in so many other countries around the world sorta make some of our issues pale a little bit (in my opinion).
A few weeks ago I was reading an article about the Italian Supreme Court. A young girl was molested/raped by her stepfather and the judges didn't consider it a crime "because she wasn't a virgin, anyway."
Ummmm, I'll take the USA. We've got tons of flaws but I still believe that it's one of the luckiest places in the world to be born.
*gets off patriotic soap box*
Don't get me wrong, AK... I hate those things too.
And a few more thoughts... I can relate to being the "tall drink of water"... my whole life I've had comments about being thin ("You're so skinny!"), questions like "Are you anorexic?" (Thanks, dumbasses... and to those people, do your research... obviously if I was, I wouldn't tell you!!), and most recently comments that are supposed to be compliments (but come out sounding like criticisms) because I was lucky enough to lose the thirty pounds I gained during pregnancy, such as, "I hate you, I can't believe you lost all that weight." Ummm, thanks? I guess? You hate me? Sorry, world, I just happened to be born thin, and I guess that's lucky considering the society we live in. Sorry to the people that weren't. I didn't do anything to deserve it and I don't enjoy being reminded of it.
I know people are just trying to be nice, but I'd really rather be complimented on my personality or my sense of humor, the things that I had a part in cultivating about myself.
That said, believe me, I know that there are bigger problems in the world and there are bigger problems in my own life. I keep it all in perspective... and I reserve the right to vent ever once in a while. Love you!
And you're right, too LJ... body image and young women just hits a VERY touchy nerve with me. Go USA!
Haha, I just re-read my comment and it came out waaaaay more intense than I meant it :)
I've been ina pissy adernaline high all day because of my stupid neighbor >:O (see liljeans)!!
I read about your cat hating old hag of a neighbor... ugh. Why not set some mice loose in her yard and see if she doesn't mind having kitties around?
In America we are lucky enough to have freedom of speech and expression. I think this contributes to the frustration felt by those who still feel pressures to be caertain way since the perception is that we are FREE. After all, we don't have some evil dictator (George Bush) dictating our every move.
Some would argue that we aren't stuck in some very rigid, overt set of laws which forces women or men to be a certain way, except in such cases as gay marriage/rights and other very overt examples. However, we do have many covert and systematic institutions in place which pressure us (media, sexism, racism, etc.) This can be and is often frustrating for those that are most effected by these systems as they are not easily seen, understood, and often not even believed to be there at all. The last one is especially true for those who benefit from them the most. The mere fact that we live in a free society in which people are not murdered or percieved to be overtly oppressed is not and should not be a foundation for allowing it to be OKAY when this happens covertly! This is called complacency and leads to disempowerment and is precisely how these systems manage to stay in place...those that benefit don't admit they exist or can't understand it and those that are directly effected don't do anything because, "the USA is pretty much one of the BEST places in the world for women to grow up in". This is one of the many reasons we have such a high level of women being abused and not reporting it and eating disorders are rampant.
I certainly agree that the U.S. is one of the greatest places for women and men alike to be born. But one of the reasons for this is the inherent ability to speak and advocate for changes...whether that be in the form of complaining, venting, rallying, demonstrating, teaching, or simply advocating but at the very least engaging in discussions that recognize the problems do exist and providing support for those that this happens too. Problems only get fixed if those that are involved in their existence recognize they exist and actually do something to change the dynamic that keeps them in place.
Wow, I had no idea my comment, "... is one of the many reasons we have such a high level of women being abused and not reporting it and eating disorders are rampant."
I suck!!
Oh wait-- but, "... one of the reasons for this [USA is great again? or not?] is the inherent ability to speak and advocate."
Now I'm confused. Should I just agree with the Original Post and in turn save women from abuse and eating disorders, or disagree and exercise free speech?
Crappity!
Sorry if I was crappity in explaining my point previously. Here's what I meant to say if it was unclear before:
The U.S.A. is great. In fact, it is one of the greatest places for a woman to be born into in the world today. However, that doesn't mean the problems here are therefore insignificant. If someone offered me two glasses of water, one half full with sand and the other almost full of sand, I would choose the one that was half full. Either way, however, I would prefer a glass that had no sand and would do everything I could to get the sand out of my glass.
The U.S. has many problems. Often when these problems are brought up, the response leads to everyone shouting, "USA #1". This is not the issue. What happens to women in this country sucks. Maybe not on some people's relativity scale but it certainly still sucks! Women in the middle ages were certainly treated worse in Italy than now but that doesn't mean that what happens to them now is okay.
I simply was saying that a woman's experience dealing with stereotypes, systemic sexism, and body image societal pressure is no less relevant because there are worse places in this world.
I would also suggest that I could find an example from the US to match the Italy Supreme Court comments without much hard work.
Oh me, oh my... that's a lot of long comments... And I can't help to not put my two cents in. LJ, you're right... it could be worse. But couldn't it almost always be worse? You know what I mean? I have to side with tummy tucks person because that was pretty much what I was saying in the first place. Yeah, I'm happy to be here, and not in Pakistan or somewhere like that... BUT... this is not some happy little disney world... at least not in my neighborhood. I do not like the way women are treated here for many reasons... And while I'm happy about the fact that I don't have to worry about having my genitals mutilated, I still think our country could make some major changes and improvements in the way women are treated.
Although, if you were really just asking, "Should I agree with Tummy in order to support abused women, or should I exercise my right to free speech?", then I say, Free Speech!! And, now I've come full circle as I say, Go USA!
I believe that women in the USA, in general, have it much better than women in countless other countries.
If you presume that means that I trivialize the USA's own specific issues or don't acknowledge women's pain in this country well then... you've made a wacky-ass assumption.
Why is it so preposterous for someone to say that they think this country, DESPITE ITS MANY FLAWS (as I wrote in my first comment) is a great place?!
Bring it. I'm so tired of people assuming that just because you don't bash the country extensively and constantly that you just don't understand what's going on and etc. It's ridiculous.
You can appreciate what we have here without blindly overlooking anything negative. Gosh!
If I were you, dot, I wouldn't worry so much about getting the sand out of the water as getting the water out of the sand.
First, let the sand settle to the bottom of the glass. Providing that the sand is denser than the water, it should quickly settle to the bottom.
I think, ideally you would have another vessel of some sort and some kind of membrane to act as a filter. Worst case scenario, this membrane could be an old t-shirt. An old t-shirt, or other tight mesh cotton fabric, could actually serve you quite well.
You’d want to twist, knot, or otherwise bind the fabric to make the mesh as tight as possible, thereby yielding the highest possible filtration potential of the mesh.
Place this makeshift membrane over the mouth of your receptacle vessel, and slowly pour your heterogeneous sand/water mix from the glass through the filter and into the new vessel.
If you do this slowly enough, and you have allowed enough time for the sand to settle to the bottom of the glass then you should be able to transfer the majority of the water from the glass without displacing so much of a grain of sand in the process.
There, your water is now sand free.
What you think of that, DAWG?!
My comments were not suggesting that bashing the USA is necessary or even warranted. I was simply suggesting that by cheering on the USA when someone identifies one of it's flaws and states that the USA is a "not a good place for little girls to grow up in", as is their personal experience, it may serve to trivialize their personal experience.
If I read too much into your comment or made a wacky-ass assumption, I apologize. That is why I commented, to express my opinion and further understand yours. Probably, if in the context of an actual conversation, this would have transpired much differently...something like:
LJ: I think the US is better than most places though.
NoTummyTucks: I agree, but...
LJ: I agree...
LJ/NoTummyTucks: Go USA! Down with women being treated crappity all over the world wherever that may be!
Fly off in different directions.
LJ: Wacky Ass!
NoTummyTucks turns on Discovery Channel to learn a thing or two about seperating sand from water.
The End
Statistics:
Eating Disorders and their Precursors
In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Approximately 25 million more are struggling with binge eating disorder (Crowther et al., 1992; Fairburn et al., 1993; Gordon, 1990; Hoek, 1995; Shisslak et al., 1995).
Because of the secretiveness and shame associated with eating disorders, many cases are probably not reported. In addition, many individuals struggle with body dissatisfaction and sub-clinical disordered eating attitudes and behaviors. For example, it has been shown that 80% of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance (Smolak, 1996).
For females between fifteen to twenty-four years old who suffer from anorexia nervosa, the mortality rate associated with the illness is twelve times higher than the death rate of ALL other causes of death (Sullivan, 1995).
Anorexia nervosa has the highest premature fatality rate of any mental illness (Sullivan, 1995).
In a 2003 review of the literature, Hoek and van Hoeken found:
40% of newly identified cases of anorexia are in girls 15-19 years old.
Significant increase in incidence of anorexia from 1935 to 1989 especially among young women 15-24.
A rise in incidence of anorexia in young women 15-19 in each decade since 1930.
The incidence of bulimia in 10-39 year old women TRIPLED between 1988 and 1993.
Only one-third of people with anorexia in the community receive mental health care.
Only 6% of people with bulimia receive mental health care.
The majority of people with severe eating disorders do not receive adequate care.
Despite its prevalence, there is inadequate research funding for eating disorders. Funding for eating disorders research is approximately 75% less than that for Alzheimer’s disease. In the year 2005, the National Institute of Health (NIH) funded the following disorders accordingly:
Illness Prevalence Research Funds
Eating disorders: 10 million $12,000,000*
Alzheimer’s disease: 4.5 million $647,000,000
Schizophrenia: 2.2 million $350,000,000
* The reported research funds are for anorexia nervosa only. No estimated funding is reported for bulimia nervosa or eating disorders not otherwise specified.
Research dollars spent on eating disorders averaged $1.20 per affected individual, compared to $159 per affected individual for schizophrenia.
American Public Opinion on Eating Disorders
In March 2005, NEDA contracted with Global Market Insite, Inc. (GMI), a leader in global market research, to conduct a 1,500 nationwide sample of adults in the U.S. Their findings concluded from those surveyed that:
Three out of four Americans believe eating disorders should be covered by insurance companies just like any other illness.
Americans believe that government should require insurance companies to cover the treatment of eating disorders.
Four out of ten Americans either suffered or have known someone who has suffered from an eating disorder.
Dieting and The Drive for Thinness
Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives (Neumark-Sztainer, 2005).
Girls who diet frequently are 12 times as likely to binge as girls who don’t diet (Neumark-Sztainer, 2005).
42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner (Collins, 1991).
81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat (Mellin et al., 1991).
The average American woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’11” tall and weighs 117 pounds.
Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women (Smolak, 1996).
46% of 9-11 year-olds are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets, and 82% of their families are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets (Gustafson-Larson & Terry, 1992).
91% of women recently surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting, 22% dieted “often” or “always” (Kurth et al., 1995).
95% of all dieters will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years (Grodstein, et al., 1996).
35% of “normal dieters” progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20-25% progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders (Shisslak & Crago, 1995).
25% of American men and 45% of American women are on a diet on any given day (Smolak, 1996).
Americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet-related products each year (Smolak, 1996).
References
Collins, M.E. (1991). Body figure perceptions and preferences among pre-adolescent children. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 199-208.
Crowther, J.H., Wolf, E.M., & Sherwood, N. (1992). Epidemiology of bulimia nervosa. In M. Crowther, D.L. Tennenbaum. S.E. Hobfoll, & M.A.P. Stephens (Eds.). The Etiology of Bulimia Nervosa: The Individual and Familial Context (pp. 1-26) Washington, D.C.: Taylor & Francis.
Fairburn, C.G., Hay, P.J., & Welch, S.L. (1993). Binge eating and bulimia nervosa: Distribution and determinants. In C.G. Fairburn & G.T. Wilson, (Eds.), Binge Eating: Nature, Assessment, and Treatment (pp. 123-143). New York: Guilford.
Gordon, R.A. (1990). Anorexia and Bulimia: Anatomy of a Social Epidemic. New York: Blackwell.
Grodstein, F., Levine, R., Spencer, T., Colditz, G.A., Stampfer, M. J. (1996). Three-year follow-up of participants in a commercial weight loss program: can you keep it off? Archives of Internal Medicine. 156 (12), 1302.
Gustafson-Larson, A.M., & Terry, R.D. (1992). Weight-related behaviors and concerns of fourth-grade children. Journal of American Dietetic Association, 818-822.
Hoek, H.W. (1995). The distribution of eating disorders. In K.D. Brownell & C.G. Fairburn (Eds.) Eating Disorders and Obesity: A Comprehensive Handbook (pp. 207-211). New York: Guilford.
Hoek, H.W., & van Hoeken, D. (2003). Review of the prevalence and incidence of eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 383-396.
Mellin, L., McNutt, S., Hu, Y., Schreiber, G.B., Crawford, P., & Obarzanek, E. (1991). A longitudinal study of the dietary practices of black and white girls 9 and 10 years old at enrollment: The NHLBI growth and health study. Journal of Adolescent Health, 27-37.
National Institutes of Health. (2005). Retrieved November 7, 2005, from http://www.nih.gov/news/fundingresearchareas.htm
Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2005). I’m, Like, SO Fat! New York: The Guilford Press. pp. 5.
Shisslak, C.M., Crago, M., & Estes, L.S. (1995). The spectrum of eating disturbances. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 18 (3), 209-219.
Smolak, L. (1996). National Eating Disorders Association/Next Door Neighbors Puppet Guide Book.
Sullivan, P. (1995). American Journal of Psychiatry, 152 (7), 1073-1074.
I SWORE to myself that I would't comment again but I just can't help it, now.
Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.
And I'll leave it at that.
sheesh... I have no idea who "anonymous" is, but they sure did their research... I don't even have enough time to fully read their comment. But I plan to later.
Wow... I just came across a blog from someone I don't know who's been dealing with eating disorders for years. Let's just say that even after only a few minutes of reading about what she goes through, I'm glad I said what I said about growing up female in America.
I don't know why... I keep coming back for more more more! (sorry SueBaby for hi-jacking your comments section for so many days, I just feel the need to make myself CLEAR so no one assumes that I'm uneducated or heartless).
Judging from the replies to my original comment, it really seems like people have continually misinterpreted my opinion.
Lecturing me (and I use the word lecturing purposely, because the tone of that specific comment struck me very much as "You obviously don't know this, but...") on covert/overt terminology and leaving random stats about anorexia really baffles and on some level amuses me-- I'm just trying to imagine myself as a person who ISN'T aware of all of this and it's pretty difficult.
The point of my comment was not to say "Suck it up, all ye with food issues-- you could have it so much worse elsewhere!" or "Eating disorders don't really exist, or aren't that bad." Uhhhh?
I took issue with and disagreed with primarily the statement that the USA is a terrible place for females to grow up. Honestly, where is there are perfect place for females (or males) to grow up? There isn't. No country is perfect-- now this is not to say that just because no one's perfect that we don't have the right to complain. Of course you have the right to complain! I wasn't trying to "silence" Suebaby or admonish her in any way. I was just disagreeing. Which I have a right to do, and you have to expect this sort of thing when your blog with your opinion is out there for the whole world to read.
Aaaaanyhoo this has dragged out a few days already and I still feel like I wasn't being heard so I had to clarify some MORE.
I do have one tip for "anonymous." You should really consider owning your words if you really stand by your opinion-- as in, leave your name or psuedonym or whatever. I do have the habit of assuming that people who leave comments anonymously do so for a reason.
OK, so -- recap. Eating disorders are real and bad. The media mostly sucks when it comes to portraying realistic depictions of women. Society could be way more tolerant. Personally, when I see/hear anyone or anything telling me to be/do something contrary to equality and tolerance, I think "STFU," and that's that. So it is not every woman's experience that the USA is a terrible place to grow up.
Hey LJ,
I imagine this has been a frustrating situation for you... I do think that you've been heard, and the way you want to... at least, I feel I've heard you. And I was just wondering what STFU means... and no need to type it if it's vulgar and you don't want to. I was just curious.
Ok, it's all good then! I don't care about the anon people, I just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was THAT insensitive!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home