The Bible Belt of Central Florida
Between the what has now become regular visits by the J.W.s and what happened at the playground this morning, we are officially living in the C.F.B.B.I was at the playground with jack this morning, trying to avoid the old lady and her stories about diarrhea, when a mom my age showed up. Yahoo! I thought... She had an older kid, maybe four and seemed very nice and sweet. Her name is Kelly. We started talking and within two minutes of conversation, she flat out asked where I went to church. Whaaaaat?
First of all, and I'm just wondering here, is that rude? And by that I mean, that she was just assuming that IF I was religious, I would be going to church. I mean, we are in St. Cloud and all, but I could possibly be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim, right? Nevermind, I answered my own question. Yes, it's rude.
So, anyway, she asks me that and I said, "No, we don't go to church". Silly me, thinking this would subtly send the message of "I'm not religious, I don't care to be religious, but I don't want to offend you by saying it that bluntly."
Kelly didn't get what I was trying to say. She then launched into where she goes to church, why she goes to church, how great the nursery there is, how great God is, etc, etc.
Finally when I could get in a few words (Kelly is a talker) I said, "Yeah, I grew up going to church, but I've gotten away from that." Again, stupid me, bad choice of words. Dear, sweet Kelly takes that to mean that I'm just too busy (with what? Sinning, I guess) to go to church. She then tells me how when she first got married, she and her husband didn't go to church, but in the past year they've been going a lot and it's been great.
Basically, she's comparing her life to mine and assuming her reasons for not going to church were exactly why I wasn't going. Um, no. My reasons for not being Christian are well thought out, researched, carefully considered, and meaningfully chosen. I didn't just get into some phase where I was too tired to get up early on Sunday mornings so I started skipping church. It was a very carefully made decision.
My feelings had at first gone to curious to exasperated to finally pissed. I basically stopped talking at this point and as she told me about "God is good, you know, you can always come back to him, God is good." I said, "Yeah, that's what they say."
Maybe it was the tone of voice I used or my face, but Kelly finally got it and started talking about the weather. Ahh... better. But not before telling me that she would love it if I'd like to go to her church sometime.
Do I have some sign on me that says, "Hello. I'd love for you to come over and push your beliefs on me"?!
One funny thing was, her little boy ended up being a total nightmare. He was rude to her and to all the other kids. Maybe she needs to pray for that kid to lose the attitude.
Another thing is, this woman has NO IDEA what my spiritual/ religious history is.... or anyone else's for that matter, especially since SHE NEVER EVEN ASKED. All she asked was if I went to church around here. Not "was I Christian?" Um, no. "Was I religious?" Again, no. "Do I care about her relationship with God?" Hmmm, no.
And guess what, Kelly? That's ok. That's ok for me not to believe the same thing as you. I'm happier than I've ever been BECAUSE of that. And Kelly does not have to worry about saving me or helping me love the Lord... because I don't need that in my life.
Believe me, I understand why she was talking incessantly about it. I know that Christians are told to share the word, bring people to God, etc. And I truly don't ever want to be rude to people, but, tell you what, if I'm in that situation again, I will not be as nice. It just pisses me off. Can't I just take my kid to a public place to play without having my morals, values, and beliefs questioned? Apparently not.
posted by suebaby @ 10:32 AM
11 Comments:
Apparently not!
Apparently not!
I don't know... I don't think it's rude (the original question) because she just might have been trying to find something you guys had in common and could talk about.
Some people just aren't blessed (haha) with tact.
I certainly would call it ignorant. Ignorant to other beliefs and ways of being socially "tact"ful. Speaking of tact, I think the bible belt should be renamed, "The Belt of Very Overweight Shortsighted People". I wasn't there so I can't really tell if it was rude as I didn't hear the tone of voice or possible obvious contempt for your choice not to go to church. I probably would have found it rude however based on my own experiences. I wish people could say, "I love my church; it has helped my family so much; let me tell you how it has helped us..." I think more people would be open to other people's religion if people would stick to talking about their own personal "good" experience with that religion rather than trying to persuade or push others into joining. Someday the world will be just like I want it to be in my idealistic mind. What? Oh, it won't? Oh, God Damnit! Oh well...guess I'll just have to be viewed as a sinner by the Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindus, and so on. Maybe we should start a cult! The Surpreme Temple of Overweight Shortsighted People...I get to be priest...anyone wanna be one of my minions.
Ok, I thought I would get comments from you all...
OK, in Kelly's defense, I truly don't think she was trying to be rude. I don't think she was trying to be ignorant either, although I agree with the opinion that she was.
She probably was just trying to make some playground conversation and I'm guessing her church is a big part of her life... the way people tend to talk about work, friends, etc.
I guess it's really only rude depending on the person who is approached and their feelings regarding discussing certain issues with strangers.
I'm a very liberal person, but I'm also an introvert, which means I don't really want to talk to someone I don't know about my views. So, to me, someone I don't know asking me about my religion choices is rude. Just like if someone I don't know asked if and what kind of birth control I use or where I stand on abortion. It's personal!
I get it that it's not that personal to everyone. I was put off by Kelly's question but that wasn't what ended up really bothering me. If she'd asked, gotten a clue, and dropped it, that would have been fine.
It was more that she continued on talking about it when I was clearly disinterested. Actually, not just disinterested... uncomfortable.
Also, in Kelly's defense, she was pretty much saying just how much she loved her church and seemed very happy about it.
She did not seem to be judgmental and was not overweight (hee hee, we're not in Texas, after all)... although, my experience with people who directly ask you about religious beliefs is that they typically are those things, too.
Although I guess what also bothers me is why is it ok for anyone to do this? I'm very happy not being a Christian and I don't walk up to people and ask them if they are or not and then tell them why I'm so happy that I'm not, with the hopes that they will change their minds. Ugh... You know what I mean?
I love lamp!
I know what you mean... I mean, if nothing else, no matter WHAT the topic is, if one person is just blathering on and on about it when it's obvious the other person has no stake in the conversation it's just annoying. And then the fact that it's such a sensitive topic to begin with just makes it more like... duh... don't harp on it... move on!
Tact School. Let's found it.
I would love to start Tact School... what a great idea. Kelly will be our first student.
P.S.
You win @ blog content today. Over at mine we're discussing what sort of music to pee along to. All the real issues are over at Suebaby! Heehee!
Sue! Don't let Kelly off the hook like that. Forget about tact. This was obviously a tactical assault, monkey bars style. That kid wasn't even hers; he was a stand-in. It's an election year and the troops are out in full force. First she'd have sucked you into her church and then they'd have brainwashed you on how to live, love and vote. I'm glad you made it out alive and with your free-thinking mind in tact!
I hate to go all "Dr. Phil" on you here, but it seems to me that had she gone on and on about some grocery store or her favorite coffee shop, it would likely not have been as big of a deal. She obviously hit a nerve and evoked some strong emotions in you. As a self-declared introvert, I am sure that you do not want to explain to the world (on your blog) or me (some stranger) why you carefully chose not to be Christian, but maybe there are some unresolved issues there. Just a thought from a passer-by. Maybe I have taken too many psychology classes :)
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