suebaby

Our Story

A little background info... I was born in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida in April of 1977. I lived in South Florida with my mom and brother (and my dad until I was thirteen) until I was eighteen. I graduated high school in 1995 and that summer, my best friend, Stef and I packed up and moved to Orlando to go to UCF.

We had a blast and in 1996, I met my first husband, Chris. He was also going to UCF. We, too, had a blast for awhile. Chris and I dated for three years and got married. I was twenty- two and he was twenty- one. Now I look back and know that I was not old enough to be married (I am choosing not to say that 22 is too young to get married, in the blanket statement sense, because I know that sometimes people get married that young and it works out. That's cool. It just didn't work out for me.) Anyway, Chris and I were married for five years. During this time, I went to graduate school at UCF and got a Masters in Mental Health Counseling. A few years later, at twenty- seven (in 2004) I decided that our marriage was not working anymore and that I was done with trying to make it better. I moved out.

This was a surprise to some, but apparently not to all people. It seems to me that many people that we knew had the impression that things were great... and they weren't totally wrong. Our relationship was not horrible. However, there were many people that responded with a "Oh, I'm not surprised" reaction, which I guess was based on, for one thing, our ages getting married.

I moved in with my brother who was living in Orlando at the time. He was just moving into a condo that he'd just bought, so it was actually pretty fun. We spent the next couple months going out, going to Universal Studios (we had bought passes) and traveling together. I will always be grateful to Joe for letting me stay with him and for making it a fun experience.

Switching to Keith for a moment... Keith was born in Miami in December of 1973. He and his family moved to Orlando when Keith was very young. He grew up in Orlando and went to college in Tampa (USF). Keith graduated and lived and worked in Tampa for awhile, before eventually returning to Orlando for a few years. Keith went to Rollins College in Winter Park and got his Masters in Mental Health Counseling as well. After graduating, Keith moved to Texas for a year, and then returned to Orlando again. Along the way, Keith had a few long term relationships and did some extensive traveling (India, Italy, Switzerland, France, etc.).

When Keith moved back to Orlando from Texas, he got a counseling job at the same place he did his internship at... which was where I happened to be working already for a year. Keith started the job in August of 2003. He and I met on his first day at an employee team building event, where we had to do a Ropes Course. Of course, back in 2003, I was still married to Chris, and we were reasonably happy. I liked Keith right away, and was just excited to have someone on staff that seemed fun and funny.

Over the next couple of months, Keith and I saw each other at staff meetings, but hadn't even really spoken. Our jobs were school counselors, though and in December of 2003, the schools were closed for the winter break. We spent about two weeks together "planning and doing paperwork" at the downtown office. We were really just talking and laughing and goofing around. There were a couple other people on staff that were fun and our age, so we had our own little group of friends. Moving into 2004... I continued to see Keith at staff meetings, where we continued to be friends... and my marriage contined to be crappy. I started going to therapy alone, and Chris and I went as a couple to try to save our marriage. When Spring Break and summer came, Keith and I spent some time at work together, and even went out a few times in a work friend group environment. I realized that I had a crush on Keith, which didn't help my failing marriage. Keith and I talked about our feelings and he told me that he had no intentions of pursuing anything with me. I told him that my first priority was to try to get my marriage on track and while I did like him, had no intention of doing anything. He was in complete agreement and just wanted to be friends. This was sort of frustrating to know that I liked this guy a lot and he liked me, too, but we could never be together.

Keith and I didn't talk much for awhile. My focus was my marriage with Chris and Keith moved on and started dating someone else. The summer went on, as did Chris and I's couples therapy, and in August, I decided that Chris and I were not going to solve our problems after all and that I was done. This brings us up to the point of when I moved in with my brother, Joe.

After a few weeks, I told Keith that I had moved in with my brother. He seemed excited, but careful, and after all, was with another woman now and I was still technically married. We did start spending some time together as friends, but that was all. Nothing romantic happened for several more months. Finally in the fall, we went out, ended up at a club playing 80's alternative music, and we finally kissed. So romantic!

That was pretty much it. The divorce was final and I was free to pursue a relationship without guilt. Keith and the woman he'd been dating were no longer together. We made every attempt to be slow and careful and to take our time... but by then, we were both totally crazy about each other and had already been friends for over a year. I was a little worried we were going to mess things up by getting involved so soon after my divorce, but things just went amazingly well. We were absolutely crazy in love with each other.

So in love, actually, that we both seemed to lose control of our brains and didn't spend much time thinking over the next couple of months. We proceeded to have a complete and total blast, we went out, traveled a little, basically did all the things new couples do. We were so caught up in our "us-ness", that rational thoughts like protection didn't really seem to cross either of our minds. And anyone who knows either of us knows that's not like us! So, logically, it really was no surprise when I became pregnant in January of 2005.

We really shouldn't have been surprised, but we were. We had already talked about marriage and maybe even having kids one day, but we were going to wait for the dust to settle from my divorce first. So much for that idea! We decided to go ahead with the marriage and have the baby.

If I thought I'd shocked some people when I told them I was leaving Chris, that was nothing in comparison to me being pregnant and getting remarried, all within a matter of months! I told my best friend, Stef, while walking down a sidewalk on the way to a restaurant, and she actually had to stop and sit down (on the sidewalk) as the news sunk in. Some people were shocked, some were ecstatic, and some seemed a little worried. But we knew it would all be fine.

The nine months that followed were... crazy. The pregnancy was very typical (some morning sickness, back aches, heartburn... ugh). We got married, with the help of Keith's family, moved to a bigger place, had four baby showers (thanks everyone!), and prepared for the scariest thing that had ever happened to either one of us... parenthood.

On September 14, 2005, we went to bed around 10:00pm. Around 11:30, I woke up and thought maybe I was peeing on myself (a little graphic, I know, but it's true). Turns out that my water was breaking. The baby wasn't due until the 27th, so I was surprised, but very happy to go into labor a little early (in case you didn't happen to talk to me during the nine months I was pregnant, I didn't exactly enjoy it). I woke up Keith, who was confused, and I started packing, while he did his hair. He then came out of the bathroom and informed me, "I did my hair." I laughed and kept packing.

We got to the hospital, and only had to wait for a few minutes. Since my water had broken, I didn't have to wait and time contractions or anything, so that was nice. We got set up in a nice big room and waited. Along the way, we called family, I got an epidural (ahh...) and we rested. Thanks to the Epidural, my labor was easy. They also gave me pitocin, so my labor was fast, too. At about 9:30am on September 15, they announced I was ready to push. With Keith and my mom by my side, I pushed that baby out in about 20 minutes.

Jack Isaak Raskin came into the world at 10:01am and was so absolutely beautiful, you'd think he was a model or movie star or something. His arrival started a whole new chapter of our lives. A big, long, scary, emotional chapter.

The three of us went home the next day, and to be honest (sorry Jack) it was complete and total Hell for many months. Jack was healthy, but very colicky and had a bad case of reflux. This meant that he screamed and cried for hours every day and did not want to have any bottles because he was getting indigestion from eating. He would scream and cry when we tried to feed him, he would scream and cry when he wasnt' being fed, and every once in a while, he would sleep for a few hours.

Luckily, this gradually got better, and by about six months, Jack wasn't hardly crying anymore and was sleeping all through the night. Along the way, we discovered that Jack probably has an arachnoid cyst, which doesn't seem to be causing any problems right now. When Jack was three months old, I left my counseling job and took a part time Manager position, which allows me to be home with Jack most of the time and work only two days a week.

It's now June 2006, and Jack is nine months old. We are getting ready to move to St. Cloud where we will be closer to family and to the location where we plan to start a business in the next couple of months.

The past couple of years have been chaotic, but wonderful. I am so happy to be with Keith, he is truly the greatest person I have ever known. He is an amazingly wonderful and supportive husband and father. Jack has become a funny little guy who seems to have no trouble letting us know what he thinks about things. We have no plans to have more children, we are very content with our family of three. We are looking forward to Jack growing up a little and being able to travel with him and take him places.

Well, there you have it. A not so brief history of me, Keith, and Jack and how we all got to be where we are. Thank you everyone for reading the blog and always being supportive and kind to me. I definitely tend to use the blog as a tool for venting, and I'm sure it can get old to read about a whiny baby all the time... so thanks for hanging in there with me and hopefully with time, the subject matters will change to a successful business, a little boy growing up, and a continuing happy marriage.

posted by suebaby @ 6:17 PM